Like many writers, I procrastinate. I have often tried to self analyze why I do this. I love writing; I really love writing. I feel like I am painting with words and I have always been in awe of language and strive to communicate with style and eloquence. I have been somewhat successful at taming my dragon and truly believing I am a writer and can be published. And though my time creating has increased, as always, there is a large room for improvement. Like the size of a warehouse. So why procrastinate?
I know that what I write always has great meaning to me, as I am sure it does for most. There is so much of myself in what I write that it is hard for me to detach. This makes even editing difficult. It is almost like cutting my child. But I have learnt that if a child is misbehaving, his or her behaviour must be corrected, just as a text must be corrected if it is not accomplishing what I wish. Thus editing is not cutting or destroying, but rather creating in a better way.
So I ask again, why do I procrastinate?
I understand now that is the judgement of others that holds me back. It is hard for me to disassociate the critique of my writing with a critique of myself. Of course, anyone who is associated with SCBWI and has read my work has been constructive, gentle and encouraging. But we have all encountered friends and family that have said we are crazy and could not do it. But we know better.
I am a writer. I am a good writer. And though it is something that I am, it is not all of me. And most of all, its quality is not a reflection of me. When someone judges my writing, they are not judging me as a person. And if they are, it says more about their person than it does about mine.
So, if you are putting off writing or submitting to agents or publishers, as I am, remember it is your fictional character they are judging, not your personal one.